Focus of my 38 Day Challenge

Here are the things that are most challenging for me this next challenge.  This is what I will need to post on my wall to remember to do them until they become second nature.

Morning Yoga
Eat 5 meals / day (sitting with a plate)
No seconds (Every meal)
Evening Yoga

38 Day Challenge - Day 1

If you do something every day for 40 days, then it not only becomes a habit, but it also becomes part of you.  That is why I'm doing a goal setting session for this long of a period.  It is a long enough time to see some results, but it is still short term goals that help us get to our long term goals.

Go to an indoor water park with family
See the sights in downtown Toronto (CN Tower, ROM Mueseum, Trains)
Go to a National Park in the Northern Country
Eat 5 times/day which is 190x (This means sit down with food on a plate before eating.)
Sugar on Sundays and Memorial Day/Victoria Day 7x
No seconds 190x
Exercise (carido) 17x
Morning Yoga 27x
Evening Yoga 38x
Attend the Toronto Temple
Eat at a local mom & pop Italian Bakery
Buy new clothes and exercise clothes
Buy new make-up
Try the sauna at my gym
Sign-up for a gym membership
148 ponds (10 pounds = 2lb a week)
Be hungry and still not eat as many times I as I need to get my goals
Do a fun activity every Saturday

This is Porter and Chelsea.  Chelsea is Porter's first pet.  She has been around since he was 3 years old and he is a sorce of comfort for him.  When he is feeling down, he finds her and holds her close.  When he is lonely, he holds her close.  When he is having a hard time sleeping, he goes straight to Chelsea.  She is always there for him.  She doesn't complain and will mold into his arms.  She'll purr and stay put.  She seems to know she is needed.  This little cat that we got for free has traveled across the country with us and into another country.  As I watch these two share times together, I'm reminded about how important a good friend is.  Friends make life more fun.  Friends make hard times less hard.  Friends are a comfort and a blessing.  It is hard to find good friends.  They are rare treasures, but worth the time and effort to keep them strong.  I'm thankful for friends.  There have been times when I have longed for a friend to be close by.  I have seen my children long for friends when we have moved.  I'm also thankful for family, because in my family relationships I have found some of my best friends and as I watch my four boys together, my heart is warmed as I see their friendship grow as they work out differences and learn to communicate and get along.  So, if you have one of those special friends, keep them close.  Let them know how you feel about them.  Take the effort to nurture the relationship.  If you don't have one, then go out and do the things that you love.  Exude the characteristics that you want to find in a friend;  then you will find that friend.  Have faith, keep trying and it will happen.

40 Day Challenge - Reflection

I just finished my first 40 day challenge.  I didn't even get close to getting all of my goals, but that is okay. I feel pretty much the same as when I started.  The days zoomed by.  Life went fast and was stressful.  We traveled and made huge life decision.  Such is life.  It cannot be an excuse. I learned a lot. I learned about choosing goals that are easy to monitor.  I learned to make sure the small goals bring me to my long term goals; they are stepping stones. 

I will do better next time.  I'm excited.  My next challenge for myself will be a 38 day challenge - because I want it to end on the last day of May.  This is exciting.  Who will I be in 38 days?  I WILL be different.  Change starts will little dicisions.  It starts with decisions that ignore the small little voice in the back of you mind that say, "Just this once..." or "It will be okay, this time because..." or  "I'll start tomorrow"  or the one that makes me second guess my goals and try to re-set them.  I will make my goals and I will stick with them.  In 38 days, I can second guess them.

Plans to make my goals a reality

In 4 months (July 13th)I weigh 138 pounds.
Self control
I have a habit of only eating one serving.
Self control - sleep if I have to.  Read if I have to.  Email, sparkpeople, shop online, smilew/urheart, etc.
I eat every two hours during the day.
Self Control
I do yoga/weights 4hrs and 40 mins a week.
1 hr MFS, 20 min. every night, 
I do cardio 4 hrs and 40 minutes a week.
Gym - TWTh 6:30 20 minutes.  Then add onto yoga 20 minutes and then add 20 on each workout
I am productive and stick to my schedule.
Prioritize
I go on a date with Glenn every week.
I go to the temple every month.
We go week 1 and 2.
I have my yoga certification.
2 hours on Sat.
I go outdoors a lot. (Walks, Roller Blade, Hike, Bike)
Daily - plan something every Saturday.

Hope for a Better Tomorrow

I'm trying not to be disappointed.  I'm trying to get back on the horse.  I'm trying not to look at my thighs and belly with disgust. 

I'm  upset because I feel like I'm falling short of my potential.  I'm gaining weight.  I'm eating crap.  I'm not exercising.  I know better, but I'm not doing better.  I can list off a billion reasons as to why.  Excuses.  They really are good ones.  Nonetheless, excuses.

I read a yoga quote about how yoga is like life.  When you are in a pose and you're not going very far into it, the way you meet the challenge of the pose is often like the way you meet challenges in life.  That was eye opening to me.  Are you critical?  No I'm not.  I'm very accepting.  Do you compare yourself to others.  No, I'm quite content that we are all different.  Are you upset?  Nope. 

I'm fine just breathing in and out and zoning out.  I'm content to the point that I have been doing yoga for 10 years and if you saw me practice, you wouldn't know.  You'd think I was just past a beginner.  I'm content.  I stretch and I don't even focus on getting better, but just "being".  I don't think that is what the yogis meant.  I think that they want you to be content, but not so content that you are not progressing forward.  This is what my problem is.

I used to be so competitive, but for whatever reason, I've stopped trying.  Not only have I stopped trying, but sometimes I'm even self-sabotaging.  I'm complacent.  I'm okay being average.  I'm not sure what I'm afraid of, but I can feel that though I've taken two steps back, something inside of me is awakening. 

It is that something inside of me that is fighting against my failure.  That something is so disappointed that I started eating crappy and not prioritizing.  Yes, I have A LOT going on in my life right now, but all the more reason to focus.  I'm fighting the feeling of despair because despair is paralyzing.  I'm reaching for hope.  I'm searching with faith.  I want a different life.  I want a different cover on my book.  I think I'll go to bed and hope for a better tomorrow.

Tomorrow I plan on buying a yoga magazine and creating a dream board.  I'm hesitant because I don't want to fail again, but I know if I don't try then I will automatically fail.  At least this way there is a chance that I might succeed. 

So here I go.  Thanks to yoga, I can see myself more clearly.  I am still sad.  I still feel fat.  I still just want to sleep for a long time, but I will get up and I will continue.  Namaste.

Day 16

I went on a road trip with my family to New England last week.

It was stressful and not full of sleep.

My adrenal gland is fatigued and what it needs is sleep, little stress and good food. All three of those things were a miss for a few days and it has taken me a few days to get back in the game. The problem is that when a person has adrenal fatigue, when they don't take care of themselves then the problem is exacerbated and the person starts to CRAVE the things that will make the problem worse. It is a crazy process that maybe I'll write about one day. Anyway, we had a good trip.

It is good to be back and get back to focusing on what I need to do.

My weekly goal is to not eat 2nds at dinner time. This is hard, but I know I can do it for one week. One week is all that I'm asking myself - gentle.

Also, I like to pick a bigger goal and see how long of a streak I can go on. this streak is one that I struggle with, but I know if I break the cycle of grazing and eating for emotional reasons, I will be the person I want to be.

You cannot be your best self if you are overweight. You cannot fully love yourself if you are damaging yourself. That is not love; that is abuse. You will be happy with who you are when you are doing what you know you need to do. The trick, is that you need to be gentle and have compassion for yourself in the process. When people are down on me, I don't want to perform for them and if I do, just to prove them wrong, I eventually burn out because it is not possible to be in a negative environment for too long and not let it get to me. When people are supportive and believe in me, I want to show them what I can do. This is the same with ourselves. We can beat ourselves up and tell ourselves how fat we are, but that will only work for awhile - if at all. If we show compassion then we start to love ourselves. We start to want to help ourselves with healthy exercise and food. It makes us feel even better and it is a chain reaction. Don't believe me? Try it. Try it for a week to change your mind set from negative to accepting and feel the change begin.

Reward Goals

Weekly Goal - One serving of Dinner
Points - Score 64 or 65 points Small Family Wellness Program
Streak - Fats/Protein every meal (can add fruit or whole grains).  Dinner is one serving of whatever.
Weigh only every 40 days.

One day at a time. Just this day I will give myself a gift. For just this day I will follow my dreams.

4 Month and 1 Year Goals

In 4 months (July 13th)
I weigh 138 pounds.
I have a habit of only eating one serving.
I eat every two hours during the day.
I do yoga/weights 4hrs and 40 mins a week.
I do cardio 4 hrs and 40 minutes a week.
I am productive and stick to my schedule.
I go on a date with Glenn every week.
I go to the temple every month.
I have my yoga certification.

In 1 year (March 13th, 2012)
I maintain my weight.
I run, cross-country ski, ice skate or snow shoe 3-4xs a week.
I eat organic produce.
I eat healthy meat.
I eat fish every week.
I eat raw dairy, milk, kefir, yogurt, cheese.
I eat farm eggs.
I eat sweets and savor it.
I play the cello.
I couple dance with Glenn twice a month.
I am good at yoga and practice daily.
I swim 2xs a week in a saline pool.
I have great friends and socialize with them weekly.
I support my my oldest two kids in 2 activities each.
Glenn and I go on a date every week.
I participate in as many races as I can.
I can do a handstand.

This is a picture of my family almost three years ago. We have come a long way. I remained that weight for about two years and this last year I have lost 20 pounds and this next year I plan on loosing the last 15.

40 Day Challenge - March 13th - April 21st

Join me. In the next 40 days I'm going to morph. I'm dreaming big. If I get only part of my goals, that's okay because that means that I shot for the stars.

If you can't dream it, then you can't become it.

I think that we have so much more ability, capacity and potential than we let ourselves believe.

Here are the things I hope to accomplish in the next 40 days.

I will eat one serving of dinner. 40x
I will eat 5 fruits and veggies. 40x
I will get my yoga certification.
I will earn 68 points in my family wellness competition.
I will weigh 148.
I will eat divine yummies. 6x
I will eat whole foods including a protein and healthy fat 6xs a day. 40x

Some of these will be really hard for me. But it is 40 days. I can do 40 days.